From the blog

Should this make me Uncomfortable…..

AllNiteRadio’s resident relationship therapist, SadaqaSadaqaX transforms her advice into SADAQALATIONS

Dear Sadaqa,

My husband and I have been married 18 years. This is the second marriage for both of us. His ex-wife has asked him to fill in as caretaker for her father while she goes to an appointment. He sees nothing wrong with this, but it makes me very uncomfortable.  I don’t think this should be our responsibility. His ex-father-in-law has three other grown children. I don’t know how to handle this without coming off as the bad guy. Help, please. Or am I the one who needs counseling? — UNCOMFORTABLE IN GULFPORT





Dear Uncomfortable,

I’m curious to know what your concern is about. The information you shared suggests that your husband was asked to fill in as the role as caretaker for his former father in law. It also sounds to me that he is okay with doing so. It doesn’t sound to me like this is passing this off as your “responsibility” as you suggest, but more like a request for assistance. Being a caregiver to an aging parent,  is necessary, and rewarding, and taxing and can be overwhelming if you don’t have adequate support. I see where you said there are other grown children who you feel should assist, in place of your husband, but perhaps they aren’t able to do so. What matters is that she asked your husband to help out and he wants to do it. When two people divorce, it’s the two of them deciding to sever ties, this doesn’t mean that the relationships they formed with other people during the marriage, are severed as well. Uncomfortable, your email doesn’t show where there’s reason for concern. I have to agree with your husband on this one. Share the reason that you’re concerned, with your husband but give him the peace he needs, to assist with this appointment. It sounds altruistic to me.




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