AllNiteRadio’s resident relationship therapist, SadaqaSadaqaX transforms her advice into SADAQALATIONS
I was married w/ 2 kids to my kids father for 19 years. I cheated on my husband & divorced him to be with this new man. My children hate this new man for breaking up their family. I had been a devoted mom & wife till I met my current boyfriend. My 16 year old daughter refuses to speak to me. I’m still with this man. I want my daughter to speak to me again. I broke up for almost 3 months & still she would not speak. She moved out because she hated him & his kids staying with us & I let her go. Now he’s gone but I did not make him go the day she left. Will she ever forgive me?
~ Devoted in Delaware
There’s a lot of grey area when parenting and dating post divorce. No wonder, you got some of it wrong. As a devoted mother, you have a primary responsibility to the children you are raising. You say that you divorced their father to be with this man; and it sounds like shortly after the divorce, him and his children moved in with you and your family? That’s a lot of change for anyone to go through, especially the children. You have chosen your relationship with this man, over the one with you children and they are understandably feeling hurt, rejected, confused, angry, resentful and lost. Your 16 year old has moved out and you are wondering how to mend that relationship.
You have the right to choose to be with who you love, but you have a responsibility to your children as well. Devoted, you need the help of a trained family therapist to support you and your family through this transition and to begin to address the damage. I believe that with proper intervention, the damage is reparable.