My fiancée and I had a fight a couple of weeks ago. A few days after the fight it seemed that things were heading back to normal but this past week or two I feel like he is avoiding being with me. Two week nights he didn’t come home till almost 2. The first time I texted him around midnight; no response so I called him. He sounded irritated that he had to talk to me. I asked if he was coming home that night and he just replied he was still out. The second night I didn’t even bother trying to get in touch with him. I even had the next day off so I wanted to go out but I just let it go. Yesterday he went to a bar after class, then came home a did homework for a few hours so we didn’t talk. He finished around midnight then played CSGO till maybe 2 and went downstairs where he watched TV and fell asleep. He hasn’t texted me today so I texted that What’s up and I miss him. He is at his friend’s house then going to the pub to study (not uncommon for people to study there). I don’t expect that I will see him tonight. It aggravates me that he can not at least keep me in the loop as to what he is doing. I bought dinner for us and he isn’t even going to be here. He does study with his friend on some Tuesdays but I am normally included or invited; often they are at my house. We just had a fight a couple of weeks ago and I confronted him about something minor a few days ago. I don’t want to start a fight or be seen as negative but I also am not okay with a “relationship” being like this. I don’t want to be his mom, nor do I need an hourly update about his whereabouts/actions. Am I overreacting? How can I carefully approach this without “talking at” him or should I just let it go?
Bride or Nah
While you didn’t specify what the fight was about, the behaviors you outlined are certainly concerning. Checking in, answering calls, making plans and being consistent are all parts of being in a relationship and it’s perfectly acceptable for you to expect that your partner continue to do these things. Bride, it’s time for you to schedule some time to talk with your fiancée. Share your observations and why it’s concerning to you. Be prepared to offer suggestions for things you may be able to do together, to strengthen the bond. Initiating a serious conversation with the person you intend to marry, is not overreacting, nor is it being parental or negative. It’s time to talk. Good luck.